Trust in close relationships is crucial.
It has three components:
- Predictability: "the consistency of recurrent behavior and the stability of the social environment."
- Dependability: "confidence in the face of risk and potential hurt (e.g., honesty, reliability, etc."
- Faith: "an emotional security on the part of individuals, which enables them to go beyond the available evidence and feel, with assurance,
that their partner will be responsive and caring despite the vicissitudes of an uncertain future."
In a good relationship, predictability evolves into dependability, then full-on faith. Notably, depth of trust is measured by motivations:
- Extrinsic: status, new connections, new opportunities.
- Instrumental: "direct services, goods, praise, sex, and support."
- Intrinsic: "shared enjoyment of an activity, mutual demonstrations of affection, social involvement as a couple, the warmth and joy associated with satisfying a partner's needs."
Obviously, intrinsic motivations are most trustworthy.
In media, a few couples stand out:
- Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk
- All Might and Deku
- Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins
Spock is always logical, and while cold, he does things solely to help Kirk succeed, often frustrating his own self-interests in the process. Spock is 100% predictable.
Deku finds himself in trouble. All Might saves him. All Might is almost killed. Deku saves him. While reciprocal, both do it for the love of the game with 100% dependability.
And Samwise "The Lord of the Rings" Gamgee. Frodo fails to destroy the ring. Samwise continues the mission. 100% faith.
Consider your close relationships. Are you a trustworthy person?